hmmm

Back in April or March or whenever it was it seemed like a good idea to start a blog. Everyone else has one and I felt a bit left out. But now that I’ve given it a shot, it does not seem like a good idea at all after all. I don’t know about you, but while I have plenty to say in real life, there is not all that much that I want to say on the internet. I thought for a bit that if I picked a theme and wrote about something in particular, something that I’m really excited by and passionate about, like roller derby and horror films and baking cakes, it would be really easy and really fun. This has not been the case and furthermore, I have been greatly disappointed by the banality of my own phrasing and also by the manner in which trying to write on the internet about things I love leeches out the joy of them more and more with every word. So, hmmm. Yeah, I think that’s about it then.

The secret kingdom

Earlier today I made a fabulous discovery. VERY exciting. The secret kingdom of £50 bottles of champagne and private club room book fair parties in your honour and trays of delicious naughty nibbly things and fawning admirers is REAL!

In any case, it is real if you are a bestselling novelist with three books coming out this year alone, through two separate publishing houses, and a multitude of international editors, which I am not. But my friend Helen is, so I am going to start stalking her quietly and make charts of what she does so that I can copy it exactly and mimic her path to success. If only plagiarism was less illegal (and just plain wrong of course), this would be much easier to achieve. And quicker. Hmm. Efficiency vs liberty?

Ouch

That’s not a shadow. It’s a bruise. I didn’t really fall over, not in the traditional sense anyway. We were doing a fitness drill at roller derby and I was wearing cheapo pads and didn’t notice that my left wristguard was broken until I landed on it a couple of dozen times. I might buy some better ones for next time, seeing as everyone else has 187 knee, elbow and wrist padding, plus custom mouthguards, helmets and padded shorts, yet still suffers from injuries such as dislocated shoulders, broken teeth and legs, sprained ankles, dislodged breast implants and  badly bruised tailbones. I don’t understand why I am not better at roller derby. Maybe more practice would help. Watching Rollerball doesn’t.

I fell over

Inappropriate thoughts

This afternoon I am redrafting a TV show proposal that has possibly the most offensive title ever thought up. I’m not sure if even Fox Alternative might balk at the prospect of it being ‘noisy’ on the epg but we shall see. It will be good to complete this task. The subject matter is sending my brain into places I would prefer it not to stray.

Chewing the cud

Is it better for you to eat three meals a day or to graze? I got my first delivery from Graze Eat Well today, containing hot chilli cashews, apple strudel dried fruit mix, and some fresh pineapple. It all tastes really good, but I can’t help thinking that I may be too greedy for this way of eating. It’s not even noon yet and already I have almost finished a box of healthy snacks that was intended to last til going home time, as a replacement for lunch. I blame Claire. With nobody here in the office to talk to, it’s no wonder I’m stuffing my face instead. Maybe I should just finish it now and put the box in the bin, that way nobody will ever know and there will be no judgement when I start eating soup at lunchtime. Hmm.

Http://www.graze.com/

Entourage

This has been on itv2 for years now. I don’t know why I always switched over, because it is frikking fabulous! Maybe it was because of Johnny Drama and Turtle. I find the architecture of Kevin Dillon’s nose kind of mesmerising and it’s hard to look away. He reminds me of the vamped-out prostheses in Buffy, it’s like a snout and his deep set eyes really add to the effect. This was off-putting. Anyway, after a season 2 boxset rainy afternoon marathon in the company of a six-pack of Bud (for atmosphere like) I am a convert. It makes me feel a little sad to be a woman though. Guys get bromantic comedies like Man I love You, Swingers and Entourage, celebrating the modern urban family and the joyz of hanging with your boyz. We get Sex and the City, Mean Girls and Kate Hudson. It doesn’t seem fair.